


of all the time we have

by emrys (livingshitpost)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Bittersweet, Crying, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Future Character Death, Gentle Kissing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, Light Angst, Love, Marriage Proposal, Men Crying, Mentions of Cancer, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Modern Era, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Short One Shot, Sweet, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingshitpost/pseuds/emrys
Summary: "Why are you so insistent that we don't move beyond this?""It's . . . hard to explain.""Try me."in which shmi spills a secret, and qui-gon continues to love her.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Shmi Skywalker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	of all the time we have

Shmi sat at the kitchen table as Qui-Gon puttered about. He hummed to himself, he picking up the whistling kettle, and poured the hot water into two mugs, each already prepared with a teabag. He passed one off to her with a soft smile.

"I've been thinking," he said as he sat across from her. 

"About?"

"Us." Qui-Gon reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He ran the pad of his thumb over her knuckles. "And I have something to ask you."

"Go ahead, then." Her voice was thin.

His eyebrows began to knit together. "Why are you so insistent that we don't move beyond this?"

_Ah, there it is._

Shmi breathed out a sigh. "It's . . ." _What_ is _it, really?_ It wasn't complicated. But it wasn't simple, either. "Hard to explain," she compromised. 

"Try me."

She couldn't help but give him a wry smile. "I love you very much," she began. "And I want you to be happy." Her expression fell. She looked down at her tea, still steeping. "But I don't think I can properly give you what you want."

"And why would that be?"

Shmi closed her eyes. Set her jaw. Took a deep breath. 

"I have stage four ovarian cancer," she whispered. "It's spread to my bladder and blood."

Qui-Gon's chest clenched. He squeezed her hand again, tighter this time. "Shmi-"

"The doctors told me I only had another year or so to live." Tears dripped unbidden down her cheeks. "We can't afford any of the treatments they offered. And even if we could, it's already progressed so far that it wouldn't be worth it."

Qui-Gon took a moment to process her words. "Does Anakin know?"

"Not everything. But . . . he knows I'm dying." Shmi turned to look back at him with a smile. "I don't want to put you through that kind of loss," she explained.

He knelt before her, taking both of her hands in his. "Shmi," he said gently, "I already will." He couldn't help but laugh, even as his vision blurred. He cupped her cheek. "And it doesn't matter to me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Qui."

"I'm not." He kissed her, slow and soft on the lips. "I love you, Shmi. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. Regardless of how it ends."

Shmi laughed, sniffling. She moved to wipe the tears from his eyes, but hesitated, instead holding his face in her hands and kissing him back. "You're too sweet," she teased.

"I'd actually imagine I taste a bit salty at the moment." His crooked nose knocked against hers affectionately. "Not exactly the most romantic flavor. Apologies."

"No need." She carded the fingers of one hand through his greying hair. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied. 

"I just don't want to hurt you any more than I have to."

"I know you don't."

"And Ani-"

"I've already taken in one lonely boy; you think I can't handle another?" He laughed. "Do you truly think that little of me?"

"Of course not. I just don't want you to feel stuck with him. I love him to pieces, but you know he can be a handful."

"All too well." Qui-Gon reached for the back of her neck and pressed their foreheads together. "I would be honored to care for him, should you trust me to do it." He kissed her again, smiling. "On one condition."

Shmi glanced up at him, smiling again. "And what would that be?"

Another kiss. "Marry me?"

She laughed. "That's cheating," she complained, but there was no malice in her voice.

"I'm not hearing a no," he teased. His blue eyes sparkled as he opened them to gaze into her deep brown ones.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for another, deeper kiss. "Fine," she said with a grin. "If that's what it takes."

**Author's Note:**

> i've never rlly given these two much thought bt,, The Potential,,,,,, ohhhhhhhhhh boy i had t do Smth
> 
> this was based on my dumb [prequel-era modern au](https://twitter.com/lostjedis/status/1224899835310067712) so feel free to enjoy me yellin in a corner ig?? or join th yellin


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